Sistas On Fire

The Heat Is On!

Is it a fact that Black Women have bad attitudes? Or, is that a myth that has been carried on, and spread like wild fire from generation to generation? Before you start displaying your alleged BWWA(Black Women With Attitudes) characteristics... let's examine this topic.

I have had recent conversations with Black Men, that have convinced themselves, that ALL Black Women are angry. These same "men" have also decided to stop dating Black Women, and instead date women of other cultures.

I'm not sure if you women realize it... but, this is a HOT topic amongst men. Some Black Men view relationships with Black Women as being HARD. Many would rather date outside of their race, because it is perceived as Easier.

Anyway, I just felt like starting trouble today... Gotta run and find me a White Woman. Enjoy your day, and Dispel The Myth.

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Do the very same black men that find this topic so HOT understand that most white Americans view all black people in this way?

It's funny how most of these men seem to think they are somehow superior beings over black women. That mentality comes from identifying white as being superior, priviliged, "the havers", but they'll never admit that. I honestly feel there's far too much hate within the black race. It's sickening to me, but I know that I can not undo hundreds of years with a race being oppressed, discriminated against, and pitted against each other. There's no excuse for this nonsense to continuously be perpetuated. More blacks openly hate on each other more than whites openly hate on blacks. The goal is self destruction and far too many black people have accepted it without understanding it.

As for the angry black female, there is some truth to women generally being angry. Have you ever saw Bridezilla, heard about male battery cases, or hear John's interview from John & Kate + 8? Most of those are white women, but I'll stick to the topic. Some black women are angry and others are not. Generally speaking, I do not feel that most black women are angry, but if you limit your thinking to your community or the people within your community that you interact with, and you have inadvertantly manipulated them and/or taken advantage of them in some way, then I'd assume those women are angry, with you.

Black women typically seek out black men. The very black men that degrade and disrespect them without so much as a blink of an eye. The men have justified their behavior for so long that black women have accepted their reasoning as justification and a way of life. Black women remain in these emotionally abusive relationships with these adult males who aid at the deterioration of her ego. Black men love to be in control, and any insecure man will define man-hood with control tactics. Most often these same men have the same attitudes in which they claim are prevelant to black females. These men are known to disrespect the female before friends, co-workers, neighbors, and family including their own kids; sometimes yelling or simply speaking firmly. These women who are so angry are usually sharing the aggression with the men who have hurt them. The very men who've shown them the same disrespect and attitude. For some reason these black men can dish it but they can't take it. The craziest thing ever is that the black woman still thinks the relationship is salvageable after all of the mayheim.

One of the biggest problems that black women have is offering love to individuals that don't love them back (black men). We're offering support and encouragement, hoping to build lasting relationships for the sake of our families and communities, but for some reason black men don't see it. We want nothing more than to be guided by you black men. We want for you to beat all of the odds and prove those stereotypes in society to be wrong. We black women adore to see you black men within leadership roles and will support and cheer you on simply because you are black men. We want to represent strength through unity with you black men standing by our sides. These thoughts may become reminants of a fantasy. Who knows, maybe I can start some nursery rhymes adding my thoughts to fantasy. (I'll stop now, :-) but I could go on) LOL!
this is a first, you won't hear a peep outta me on this one because I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING RENEE DIDN'T. renee, you outdid yourself with your analysis this time. every single point you made is true. if folks wanna read a really thoughtful response on this, please read renee's!

there's just one additional point i want to note: brothers seem to be clueless to the fact that there has been a increase in black women marrying white men! because of racism, no one gives a damn about that!!! the society is obscessed with black men having sex with white women! really, no one cares who we black women have sex with! and that idea's freakin' offensive! (don't go into the slavery thing in your response...keep this in present tense) bottomline: no one cares who black women have sex with! you know why? we just aren't that important to these people. yet, everyone is so concerned about black men dating and mating white women!

what's up with that????
lot of people painting with broad brush strokes - there is no monolithic universal angry black woman, nor is there a universal uncaring black man. Not saying either one doesn't exist but we all need to be careful about stereotyping ourselves -- lord knows we have all kinds of folks waiting to do it for us. If the conversation starts with "why are all black women this" or "why are all black men that", we will never find the real people who are there in our lives. There are angry black women and angry black men too. There is a certain amount of psychological trauma that all black people in this country have, so we all have to come to grips with what we are willing to deal with vs what is unacceptable.
I gotta co-sign on this, and what's super dangerous is that racism is so internalized in Black folk that we self-police and that includes the use of excessive force!!!! But in all seriousness, we have bought into these stereotypes and are responsible for perpetrating them now under the guise of debate and discussion. You hear and see this in our own media. If we think so little of ourselves, how can we expect others to see us as anything more?

Bob Ponce said:
lot of people painting with broad brush strokes - there is no monolithic universal angry black woman, nor is there a universal uncaring black man. Not saying either one doesn't exist but we all need to be careful about stereotyping ourselves -- lord knows we have all kinds of folks waiting to do it for us. If the conversation starts with "why are all black women this" or "why are all black men that", we will never find the real people who are there in our lives. There are angry black women and angry black men too. There is a certain amount of psychological trauma that all black people in this country have, so we all have to come to grips with what we are willing to deal with vs what is unacceptable.
I think people are making excuses for failed relationships and think that dating someone of another race will have a different result. I have no problem with people dating who ever they want, if it is a relationship based on love and mutual respect, who am I to knock them. but they should not be making sweeping generalizations about an entire race. Perhaps they did not find the right Black woman for them.

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